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The Man Thread

les norton

First Grade
Messages
5,004
ROK...its ok.

They can have peeing standing up, muscle mass and perhaps this thread.

That is all they have over us.

Let em' be....we have everything else :D
 

roopy

Referee
Messages
27,980
Man in bar is asked by barman if he wants another drink.
He pulls something out of his pocket and has a look and says ok.
This happens several times - so the barman asks what he is looking at.
The guy says "it's a picture of my wife, when she looks good, i'm going home."
 

Misanthrope

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
47,627
And here I was coming into the thread thinking you were going to reprimand us for being chauvanists! :lol:

Q: What's worse than a chauvanist pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told
 

Stranger

Coach
Messages
18,682
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts with "A man once told me..."

Why do Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
 

Stranger

Coach
Messages
18,682
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 99%. It's called "wedding cake".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 

gumbi

Juniors
Messages
86
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, "This morning Eve and I made love for the first time."

God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?"

Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."

"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
 

gumbi

Juniors
Messages
86
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room. “Why are you down here at this time of night?”

The husband looks up from his coffee. “Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?” he asks solemnly.

“Yes, I do,” she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?”

“Yes, I remember,” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for twenty years?’”

“I remember that, too” she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, “I would have gotten out today”.
 

Big Tim

First Grade
Messages
6,500
I always thought I would marry Mrs. Right.....


I didnt realise her first name would be ALWAYS!
 

IanG

Coach
Messages
17,807
Big Tim said:
I always thought I would marry Mrs. Right.....


I didnt realise her first name would be ALWAYS!

Another from the bloke who said that one.

Q: What's The Difference Between Snot & Brocholli?
A: Kids Wont Eat Brocholli
 
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