Worst injury you've ever had?

[maple_69]

Did shoulder skiing 15 years ago in Germany and its still screwed due to no physio.
Fractured collarbone from a ruck in rugby was the most painful.
PCL earlier this year sucked.

 

[Evil_Mush]

I've been pretty lucky with injuries (or lackthereof) most of my life, no broken bones or major hospital visits.

My worst one though came very early on when I was about 6 or so - parents were renovating the house and there happened to be a big roll of corrugated cardboard lying around for some reason, which for reasons only dumb kids could tell you, me and brother decided it would be a fun idea to play Star Wars by wrapping me up in this cardboard from my shoulders to my feet to pretend to be a droid.
Of course this meant the moment I tried to move I fell face first to the uncarpeted floor (brother's attempt to hold me up from behind was all for nought) and my front teeth went straight through my bottom lip, with blood everywhere, me screaming, parents going nuts!
The resulting stitches and swollen lip made me feel pretty badass at school though, and over 25 years later I've still got faint twin scars on the inside of my lip as a fun reminder!

 

[Rhyno]

P*nis stuck in zipper

 

[Red Bear]

Broken arm playing soccer. Torn ankle ligaments, also soccer. Dislocated AC joint snowboarding.

 

[gUt]

I'll give it a few pages and see if all combined comes close.

Let's hear it

 

[TooheysNew]

Start with the brain injury.

 

[AlwaysGreen]

I got a splinter once.

 

[carcharias]

This might not look too bad , but I can assure you it was a pain in the arse.
Fin chop from my own board.
I'd actually already ripped the fins out of another board earlier that morning.
Very next ( after going and getting my spare board ) wave I went over the falls again and came down on the fins.

I cut nerves in my leg and needed surgery. The worst was yet to come.
A week after I left hospital I lay awake at 3am in agony .
The pain killers I was on had given me the worst case of constipation ever.
Hadn't shit for well over a week by this time.
I had to go back to the hospital where a young man gave me a catheter and an enema simultaneously.
If you think your dick shrinks in cold water... wait until another man tries to push a tube down your snake eye.
Then there was the bit where he shoved what I can only describe as squeezy sauce bottle looking thing up your arse to fill you up with poo loosening liquid.

Then they all pretty much ran and said the dunny is in that room ...you are on your own.

Yeah the relief from getting to do the biggest blackest turd in history was almost worth it....but that is one party I don't think I want to go back to.

 

[BadSport]

Hahaha I been recathed after some moron nurse pulled it out too soon after an op. The dude kept on telling me to relax as it just makes it harder - I challenge any bloke not to tense up a little with a tube being put down his dick eye!

As for ur enema that cracks me up dude, I can understand the pain as I went quite a few days and I imagine it would be a terrible way to die, but I avoided the whole arse squirt bottle business LOL you should have taken a photo of the shit it would've been a rippa lol

 

[chigurh]

I have a phobia of pain killers after the constipation they gave me the one and only time I've needed them.

NEVER AGAIN :|

 

[macavity]

Attacked by a dog (dingo x kelpie) when I was 7. Over 500 stitches, severed aorta, lost a tear duct, died twice on the way to hospital, lost (lots of) litres of blood. I have a lot of scars, still have an undissolved stitch under my right eye (looks like a blue pen mark). Funnily enough not scared of dogs.... I now own 3 pet stores!

Twisted testicle at 13, ball blew up to the size of a softball, emergency surgery (lucky they saved it) and got blood poisoning from the static blood trapped in it.

Slipped 2 discs at 25, 6 weeks in traction, 3 years of intensive physio, luckily avoided surgery by the skin of my teeth but still gives me grief every now and then.

Currently awaiting a bone shave / arthroscope on my right AC joint, can't lift my arm above horizontal without a shedload of pain, cant lift

Short of something catastrophic like acquired brain injury or losing a limb, reckon I'm a shot at winning (losing) this comp.... :sarcasm:

 

[Bazal]

It's not going to compete with some of these, but;

Torn ACL, medial ligament, and meniscus in right knee. Two knee reconstructions and lost just about 30% of the cartilage. Now have arthritis in the knee at 29 years old

But so far I think the ankle I did last year has been more of a pain. I tore the ligament on the medial side as a kid and it's never been great, but last year I stepped on a cricket ball in the outfield. Not ours, mind. I was tearing after a skied ball and the knucklehead kids in the nets off to the side of the ground had hit one onto the field and not moved it. So I stepped on that at full pelt looking into the sky. Rolled it one way on the ball, snapped every lateral ligament, then it rolled the other way on the next step and snapped the medial ligament. Moon boot for 12 weeks (although like a genius I was back playing and just standing at slip after six weeks) and I qualify for a reconstruction there too, but I figure what's the point? Doc reckons thats looking at 6-8 months in a boot with my injuries, maybe 4 if I'm lucky. Plus after the knee I really don't want to spend more time recovering from surgery. So f**k it. Causes me loads of issues though....

 

[BadSport]

Short of something catastrophic like acquired brain injury or losing a limb, reckon I'm a shot at winning (losing) this comp.... :sarcasm:

I don't think so mate, apart from the horrific dog attack it's a pretty average history.

 

[macavity]

lol, ok...

 

[Bazal]

lol, ok...

I would personally say a severed f**king aorta (carotid, I gather from the location?) is pretty difficult to beat in the "oh f**k this is a bit serious" stakes....

 

[macavity]

Yeah, carotid - neck. I can remember my Aunty with her fingers in my neck putting pressure on it. Was conscious until just after I was loaded into the ambo. I have a newspaper cutout scan - we had heaps of stuff (news reports etc) but lost pretty much everything in a fire in 92.

 

[Joker's Wild]

f**k me running macca, that is some serious shit

My worst was a dislocated elbow, smashing the end of my radius so badly that it no longer fits in the joint properly. Cant straighten my right arm fully and cop arthritic type pain in cold weather

 

[Lambretta]

I lost a testicle, but it was an operation, not an accident. Don't think cancer is really an injury.

I jumped out of a tree when I was 8 and dislocated / sprained an ankle
I fell out of a tree when I was 12 and dislocated / sprained my neck
I have had lots of tendon damage from running, boxing, exercising - but nothing that has crippled me yet
No broken bones that I can remember, but I was probably dropped on my head repeatedly, so I can't be sure

 

[JoeD]

http://i.imgur.com/M6waktR.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/5Cxom6o.jpg

Current state of my hand

 

[macavity]

Ouch! How did you do thaT??