I've got 3 good ones.
Sports one:
I got absolutely belted playing U18s league by a couple big islander boys when taking a bomb. I went off concussed but after a few more injuries I had to go back on in the 2nd half. Scarily my memory of that 2nd half was that we were playing in pouring rain but my mum told me afterwards it was sunny the whole day. I ended up pissing bloody that night and scans the next day showed a bruised kidney. Was out for 10 weeks and didn't play again after that season.
Dumbass one:
5 years back at the age of 24 I decided that I wanted a ripstick for Xmas. For those that aren't either kids or idiots a ripstick looks like this -
I promptly took it out Xmas morning and after about an hour of stuffing about on the local basketball courts I decided to take it down a big hill before we went to the relos for Xmas lunch. Smash cut to me lying on the side of the road clutching at my shoulder after coming off badly. Quick trip to the emergency room for an x ray and it was revealed my collarbone was in a bit of a bad way:
The doctor who did my initial examination came and found me after my x ray to shake my hand on the worst collarbone break she'd seen. 2 weeks later when I went to a surgeon to get a follow up visit and to decide if it needed a plate or not he laughed when looking at my x ray and said it had been emailed around to various doctors in the hospital over the holidays :lol:. He assumed it was a motorbike accident so clearly I was hauling ass 8)
No I never road the ripstick again...
Little kid one:
When I was 6 my older brother and his mate used to like teasing and torturing me (standard dickhead older brother fare). They chased me into our shared bedroom and I climbed up onto the top bunk. When they tried to come up after me I jumped off the bunk and ran out the door. We did another lap and they chased me back into the bedroom, but this time they'd moved a chest of drawers to under the bunk bed to stop me jumping off. I figured I could make it and jumped for the door. I cleared the drawers, but landed funny and kneed myself in the chin. Wouldn't have been so bad except I had my tongue out at the time, which I bit in half! Only thing that saved it from being completely severed was that I'd lost a couple teeth so the left side was still attached.
My tongue was flopping about like a fish out of water and blood pouring everywhere. I obviously couldn't see it so didn't know what was wrong but my brother and his mate went white and ran to get help. I was taken to hospital and got dozens of invisible stitches to sew it back together. Couldn't talk at all for weeks and had to gargle a special solution for a while as well to make sure it healed up ok. Apparently I talked a bit funny for a while but after a few months was back to normal.
I have a nice scar on my tongue from that still. Always a funny story to bring up at family dinners.