Ask LU - The relationship advice thread II

[BDR]

Would you want to be married to an unfaithful piece of garbage? Would you want to be friends with someone who knew about it but didn't tell you?

I'm not saying you have to tell him, but he needs to find out. He doesn't deserve to live like that.

 

[sportive cupid]

Life's not simple for grown ups Mong.

....a good lesson for a young lawyer to learn ;-)

 

[Twizzle]

Twizz, how did you get so black and white?

I dont like to over complicate or over analyse things

her problem so it would be nothing to do with me

simple

 

[sportive cupid]

Very true, she will be very unhappy i know, we talked about that today (my friend and i)..

I won't discuss it with my wife unless my friend gives me the ok to do so.

My wife will understand after the initial unhappiness why i chose not to.. She's totes awesome

I wouldn't be too sure there Mong..

After all,isn't there a degree of irony here...honesty is often a valued quality in a relationship for women.

 

[Mong]

Tbh,it's not your call.Id be encouraging this friend to do what leads to the best outcome for them all.

You're right to say that there's often no point to telling someone something hurtful just to make yourself feel better.

I would be having a second heart to heart with this friend and indicating that you're not available to be the sounding board next time.

...and how come you are good with the third guy and yet don't know his wife?

She seems determined to do what's best.. Will see how that goes.

The other guys wife doesn't go anywhere with him or with us so i've never actually got to meet her, she is either at work or looking after the kids.

 

[Mong]

I wouldn't be too sure there Mong..

After all,isn't there a degree of irony here...honesty is often a valued quality in a relationship for women.

I am . I know her very very well, she will fully understand why. If she asks did i know i will always say yes, if she hears something and asks me, i will tell her what i know.

I'm just not going to volunteer it up as i have been asked not to do so.

She will appreciate that fact.

 

[sportive cupid]

Well you kne her,but have you kept secrets from her before?

What if she kept a secret from you about your friend? How would you feel?

Just consider it mate.

 

[butchmcdick]

I owed her a favour, we'd had too many beers and she blurted it out..

Since then we have talked about it all the time, she assures me it's stopped now but they are going to remain friends, I want her to stop seeing him 100% to avoid repeats.. Apparently it's been stopped for awhile, but she is struggling with that fact, hence telling me.

I don't hold the fact she told me against her, I owed her pretty big from something earlier so I see why she did (that and too much alcohol)

Keep it shut

There are no winners in this situation. He won't thank you for telling him, she won't either abc she didn't tell you so you could fix things for her.

It isn't your call to make

 

[butchmcdick]

Ps kids involved too. Not your call to make

I would tell your wife. I tell my missus everything and it looks bad for you if it all cones our and you didn't tell her.

 

[sportive cupid]

I dont like to over complicate or over analyse things

her problem so it would be nothing to do with me

simple

Yeah but once you knw something you can't unknow' it.

So the knowledge is your problem .

 

[Twizzle]

Yeah but once you knw something you can't unknow' it.

So the knowledge is your problem .

her life, her problem

see how I use the space bar

 

[sportive cupid]

Yes Twizz,I see it...and I'm liking what I see.

 

[Twizzle]

shame your puter doesn't have one

 

[sportive cupid]

It does,but I'm using an IPad.

I wish you weren't such a grumpy old man :-(

 

[Twizzle]

I'm never grumpy, I dont care enough to get grumpy

sea what I did with the spacebar there, even iPads have them

 

[sportive cupid]

I'm too old to learn about space bars Twizz.

I prefer to concern trade on avoiding those pesky autocorrect embarrassing spelling errors.

 

[Mong]

Well you kne her,but have you kept secrets from her before?

What if she kept a secret from you about your friend? How would you feel?

Just consider it mate.

I hear what you are saying, i would also understand if she was in this situation and didn't tell me.

 

[madunit]

I think Mong, you are in the position a reputable priest finds himself in.

It is your duty for the benefit of all, to keep this to yourself.

Her guilt will consume her and it will be revealed to those directly affected sooner or later.

 

[sportive cupid]

Yes ,but the priest doesn't have a wife Madunit.

 

[madunit]

some do