Mental Health

[Gary Gutful]

I've found myself feeling a bit shit on weekends. Have had injured shoulders and haven't been able to play golf for over a year.

I think its starting to bring me down knowing I cant play and I think I now realise how important playing was to my mental health - an outlet and something to look forward to at the end of each work week.

Anyway, its a first world problem. I just need to find some other activities to keep me occupied.

 

[Suitman]

Hey Suity, long time no speak/see. Odds on another Brissy trip in future? Maybe we (Brisbanites) need to come down to God's Country for a journey next season.

Hope you're doing ok bud.

Thank you champ. I find it amazing that it has been so long since we have caught up, yet you still reach out.
You and Belly and Daz and all the other Brisbanite's that I have met in the past are people I would absolutely love to catch up with again.
I'll never forget the great days I spent with all you lot and yes, it is about time your mob came down to Sydney.
I was talking to some of the girls last night who are going to Brisbane this week. You probably know who they are.
I asked them to pass on my regards to you all.
Thank you for reaching out mate.

 

[Eelogical]

I've found myself feeling a bit shit on weekends. Have had injured shoulders and haven't been able to play golf for over a year.

I think its starting to bring me down knowing I cant play and I think I now realise how important playing was to my mental health - an outlet and something to look forward to at the end of each work week.

Anyway, its a first world problem. I just need to find some other activities to keep me occupied.

It's good that you opened up, mate. We all have things going on that we don't talk to many others about. We've both got one thing in common though - bung shoulders. Well, I've still got one good but that's irrelevant.

 

[nöyd]

Thank you champ. I find it amazing that it has been so long since we have caught up, yet you still reach out.
You and Belly and Daz and all the other Brisbanite's that I have met in the past are people I would absolutely love to catch up with again.
I'll never forget the great days I spent with all you lot and yes, it is about time your mob came down to Sydney.
I was talking to some of the girls last night who are going to Brisbane this week. You probably know who they are.
I asked them to pass on my regards to you all.
Thank you for reaching out mate.

They were great times mate, I remember we got lapped by 50/60-odd on the field but made some real like minded mates that day - yourself, Twiz, Jess, Hells, Nicole, PJ, and Belly, Belly just a top notch bloke who pretty much put the whole weekend together, hope he is doing great.

A few years later you guys came back up for a Monday night game and we towelled the Bronx up, winning the match was a bonus, it was just great to catch up with mates. That night I think we met your brother, Mystik plus the usual crew.

Need to put the feelers out to get a gang together to come down next season for a home match. Haven't personally been to the new stadium yet so needs to happen.

 

[Gary Gutful]

It's good that you opened up, mate. We all have things going on that we don't talk to many others about. We've both got one thing in common though - bung shoulders. Well, I've still got one good but that's irrelevant.

Yeah. Both of mine have been frozen. Had one operated on but it still hasn’t come good. I should be happy that I’m otherwise healthy but it’s been testing my patience.

 

[Eelogical]

I'll comment more later, re:- the thread title. It's important that we all share.

 

[hindy111]

I'll comment more later, re:- the thread title. It's important that we all share.

I will share my thoughts.
I have some good friends who I think we have good deep chats about our life and how we are doing which is good. We check in with each other. And everyone fights their own demons at times at different levels.
For myself being a deep thinker and pushing my mind into the unknown I find I occassionaly struggle with the concept of our life existence. Perhaps a nihilistic approach of the pointlessness and reality of life itself only highlighted by the everyday repetitive nature of it all whilst we blindly continue our journey towards death as our best years are inhaled by the system we are trapped in. Like a washing machine going thru the spin cycle as we hit spin,wash,repeat.
Then all these moments, highlights and memories we collect slowly fade as our ageing bodies slowly deteriorate till we are reduced to nothing more then fluid then dust as our last traces of DNA are absorbed into the ground.

Surprisingly while all this is happening infront of our eyes having to deal with humans who have this heightened view of their own self importance, pushing you, and being annoying as they try to climb the chain in the animal kingdom destitute of the vision of their actions, purpose and oblivious to the foul vultures they've become it disturbing.

I find the best solution if in these moments of darkness is a cup of tea and a few mint slices. Puts things into perspective realy.

 

[the phantom menace]

I'll comment more later, re:- the thread title. It's important that we all share.

"Mental Health - Share and Care" ?

 

[the phantom menace]

I find the best solution if in these moments of darkness is a cup of tea and a few mint slices. Puts things into perspective realy.

Hard to go past mint slices and tea as an antidote to the existential darkness.

 

[Happy MEel]

Anyway, I shouldn't have posted that.
This thread is about mental health, and it is the one thread in the Eels forum that should not be hijacked.
Yesterday was an amazing day for me.
I got to catch up with forum friends that I haven't seen for ages.
I got to meet new friends from the forum. A major plus.
I got the chance to open up my heart to one forum friend who was extremely understanding and supportive of my stance and approach to my life's difficulties atm.
It was also good to have important discussions re the importance of this thread, and another member reiterated many times that it was essential that this is one thread that should not be trolled with insignificant childish bullshite comments that most other threads are. There was absolute agreement on that point by all participants, and not just from those that were in the photo.
I had hoped to let a few others know of my predicament at the moment but the the opportunity just never arose.
It was just good to at least open up to one person.
It was a good day from all aspects. Imo.

You summed it up perfectly mate. It really was a fantastic day and I can’t thank you and everyone else enough. A massive shout out to everyone on here for giving this thread the respect it deserves. Suity, I’m glad you were able to open up with someone yesterday. As the saying goes, “a problem shared is a problem halved”. Whilst that might not always be the case, I think the sentiment is a good one. Cheers and hopefully we can do it again soon (that week long celebration post GF win sounds good )

 

[Happy MEel]

I've found myself feeling a bit shit on weekends. Have had injured shoulders and haven't been able to play golf for over a year.

I think its starting to bring me down knowing I cant play and I think I now realise how important playing was to my mental health - an outlet and something to look forward to at the end of each work week.

Anyway, its a first world problem. I just need to find some other activities to keep me occupied.

Thanks for sharing mate. I don’t think you need to downplay the effect not being able to do the thing you love has had on you. You clearly love golf and it’s something that must be pretty important in your life. For that to be taken away, that’s enough to get anyone down. Throw in your injured shoulders and it’s completely understandable how you’re feeling. Hope you find something that brings you similar joy on weekends (a few more eels wins this year wouldn’t hurt either )

 

[Happy MEel]

I will share my thoughts.
I have some good friends who I think we have good deep chats about our life and how we are doing which is good. We check in with each other. And everyone fights their own demons at times at different levels.
For myself being a deep thinker and pushing my mind into the unknown I find I occassionaly struggle with the concept of our life existence. Perhaps a nihilistic approach of the pointlessness and reality of life itself only highlighted by the everyday repetitive nature of it all whilst we blindly continue our journey towards death as our best years are inhaled by the system we are trapped in. Like a washing machine going thru the spin cycle as we hit spin,wash,repeat.
Then all these moments, highlights and memories we collect slowly fade as our ageing bodies slowly deteriorate till we are reduced to nothing more then fluid then dust as our last traces of DNA are absorbed into the ground.

Surprisingly while all this is happening infront of our eyes having to deal with humans who have this heightened view of their own self importance, pushing you, and being annoying as they try to climb the chain in the animal kingdom destitute of the vision of their actions, purpose and oblivious to the foul vultures they've become it disturbing.

I find the best solution if in these moments of darkness is a cup of tea and a few mint slices. Puts things into perspective realy.

Thanks for opening up Hindy. You certainly are a deep thinker. To be honest, it’s not something I’ve given too much thought about (perhaps I should ). The best thing is though you’ve found your own way of overcoming these darker thoughts. I must say, I’m partial to a decent cup of tea, but it’s dunking biscuits for me .

 

[Ron Jeremy]

Good thread mate. It is the same as me, a big reason why I rarely come anymore and why I do come is due to the last 5 years of hell I am going through.

If anyone has ever had a child with a narcissist or been involved in relationship with one will know what I am going through without even having to mention what has transpired. They will keep going. Each day is a struggle to get motivated, it has killed my businesses due to the mental anguish she has caused myself and my son. Narcissist are also tremendous manipulators and actually believe there own lies and convince themselves of it aswell as others. They can get themselves out of trouble time and time again due to there uncanny way of showing fake emotion and convincing they are a victim and everyone else's fault.

I watched the Amber Heard Johnny Depp thing closely.

My son is with me full time due to her neglect, abuse and so on. Offcourse it never happened according to her. Written statements provided by my sons doctor, daycare etc still not enough, reports to docs from all involved mainly professionals about her parenting and neglect. Nope all a lie. And now she wants 50/50 custody strangely, but firstly wants to look at what money I have. I dare say she will stop shortly once she realises my mothers estate is now gone which she is trying to get. However she will leach onto someone to fund her just to get back at me. No matter if it is her parents, ex or future boyfriend it doesn't matter, they are not humans they are potential assets to get what she wants.

While my son loves her, she is having the time of her life without him. Always laughing with friends when they talk, hasn't provided a cent towards him for 4 months claiming hardship (although her recent botox says differently). I am angry, depressed for my son and how a mother could do this to her son just to get at me, and show no real interest in seeing my son. But as narcissist know better than anyone they no there prayers weak spots and how to get to them through them. Mine is my son naturally. Doesn't matter if she carried him in her stomach and gave birth to him, he is disposable as he was part of me.

It is very hard to deal with, and this forum helps reading to take your mind of things. So now I am a full-time father/business owner with very little motivation. Have no life, and a half a bottle of vodka each night helps a lot.

When people say see someone I truly don't think they understand that many times they are quiet useless. 1. they aren't there for you when you get down in the night time. 2. unless been through a similar situation really cannot begin to relate to what is going on. 3. need many sessions before actually trying to get some solutions when you need the answer right here right now. 4. they cost money.

I recommend mensline for people who are struggling. Found they challenged me a lot and didn't give me the 'there there give me a hug treatment' they actually gave me a dose of harden the f**k up and dont worry she will get her karma and you will son will see it. Found them fantastic and better than I thought.

Hoping my bills win the SB this year and another business venture where i can mainly work from home so i can attend all my sons activities. Its been hell, and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy, and I truly believe it, I just wouldn't.

 

[Jake the snake]

Good thread mate. It is the same as me, a big reason why I rarely come anymore and why I do come is due to the last 5 years of hell I am going through.

If anyone has ever had a child with a narcissist or been involved in relationship with one will know what I am going through without even having to mention what has transpired. They will keep going. Each day is a struggle to get motivated, it has killed my businesses due to the mental anguish she has caused myself and my son. Narcissist are also tremendous manipulators and actually believe there own lies and convince themselves of it aswell as others. They can get themselves out of trouble time and time again due to there uncanny way of showing fake emotion and convincing they are a victim and everyone else's fault.

I watched the Amber Heard Johnny Depp thing closely.

My son is with me full time due to her neglect, abuse and so on. Offcourse it never happened according to her. Written statements provided by my sons doctor, daycare etc still not enough, reports to docs from all involved mainly professionals about her parenting and neglect. Nope all a lie. And now she wants 50/50 custody strangely, but firstly wants to look at what money I have. I dare say she will stop shortly once she realises my mothers estate is now gone which she is trying to get. However she will leach onto someone to fund her just to get back at me. No matter if it is her parents, ex or future boyfriend it doesn't matter, they are not humans they are potential assets to get what she wants.

While my son loves her, she is having the time of her life without him. Always laughing with friends when they talk, hasn't provided a cent towards him for 4 months claiming hardship (although her recent botox says differently). I am angry, depressed for my son and how a mother could do this to her son just to get at me, and show no real interest in seeing my son. But as narcissist know better than anyone they no there prayers weak spots and how to get to them through them. Mine is my son naturally. Doesn't matter if she carried him in her stomach and gave birth to him, he is disposable as he was part of me.

It is very hard to deal with, and this forum helps reading to take your mind of things. So now I am a full-time father/business owner with very little motivation. Have no life, and a half a bottle of vodka each night helps a lot.

When people say see someone I truly don't think they understand that many times they are quiet useless. 1. they aren't there for you when you get down in the night time. 2. unless been through a similar situation really cannot begin to relate to what is going on. 3. need many sessions before actually trying to get some solutions when you need the answer right here right now. 4. they cost money.

I recommend mensline for people who are struggling. Found they challenged me a lot and didn't give me the 'there there give me a hug treatment' they actually gave me a dose of harden the f**k up and dont worry she will get her karma and you will son will see it. Found them fantastic and better than I thought.

Hoping my bills win the SB this year and another business venture where i can mainly work from home so i can attend all my sons activities. Its been hell, and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy, and I truly believe it, I just wouldn't.

It has been a while mate. I am so sorry to hear what’s happened. Hope you and your son find the happiness and perspective in life that you deserve. Good on you for reaching out to that mensline.

 

[Ron Jeremy]

oiIt has been a while mate. I am so sorry to hear what’s happened. Hope you and your son find the happiness and perspective in life that you deserve. Good on you for reaching out to that mensline.

Jake been terrible, forgot to mention when my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (died early last year and still haven't been able to truly mourn her loss) she said she was exaggerating and full of shit. Made my life hell all up to 2 weeks before her death, eased up until 2 weeks after her death and then on que back to "now where were we".

I would provider her 1k a week in child support out of goodwill. Once that started to go down due to covid so did her parenting. Her parenting was all about the money she was getting from me. We have been broken up for 3 years but I wanted an amicable relationship. I should've just cut the cord a long time ago instead. Once I said to her hey I am reducing my money to you to 430 per week + daycare costs it was like " so your telling me, money just doesn't fall from the sky"

She expected every cent of money no matter if covid had brutally me, narcissist don't see that, they don't see the probable's, they are just acustominded to people helping them and living an easy life. Once that happened she decided to go back to her ex a guy I helped her get away from due to abuse, who in the pasts made threats towards my 4 year old son, and I found out she had been letting him stay at her house when he was there. And everyone was wondering why my sons behaviour had changed and was showing signs of trauma. He has money though.

Offcourse she has a solicitor now, has money even though hasn't worked in 11 years, only as of friday she decided to buy some clothes or him coincidently at the same time she is seeing her solicitor. I told her i need cold hard cash.

 

[Happy MEel]

Good thread mate. It is the same as me, a big reason why I rarely come anymore and why I do come is due to the last 5 years of hell I am going through.

If anyone has ever had a child with a narcissist or been involved in relationship with one will know what I am going through without even having to mention what has transpired. They will keep going. Each day is a struggle to get motivated, it has killed my businesses due to the mental anguish she has caused myself and my son. Narcissist are also tremendous manipulators and actually believe there own lies and convince themselves of it aswell as others. They can get themselves out of trouble time and time again due to there uncanny way of showing fake emotion and convincing they are a victim and everyone else's fault.

I watched the Amber Heard Johnny Depp thing closely.

My son is with me full time due to her neglect, abuse and so on. Offcourse it never happened according to her. Written statements provided by my sons doctor, daycare etc still not enough, reports to docs from all involved mainly professionals about her parenting and neglect. Nope all a lie. And now she wants 50/50 custody strangely, but firstly wants to look at what money I have. I dare say she will stop shortly once she realises my mothers estate is now gone which she is trying to get. However she will leach onto someone to fund her just to get back at me. No matter if it is her parents, ex or future boyfriend it doesn't matter, they are not humans they are potential assets to get what she wants.

While my son loves her, she is having the time of her life without him. Always laughing with friends when they talk, hasn't provided a cent towards him for 4 months claiming hardship (although her recent botox says differently). I am angry, depressed for my son and how a mother could do this to her son just to get at me, and show no real interest in seeing my son. But as narcissist know better than anyone they no there prayers weak spots and how to get to them through them. Mine is my son naturally. Doesn't matter if she carried him in her stomach and gave birth to him, he is disposable as he was part of me.

It is very hard to deal with, and this forum helps reading to take your mind of things. So now I am a full-time father/business owner with very little motivation. Have no life, and a half a bottle of vodka each night helps a lot.

When people say see someone I truly don't think they understand that many times they are quiet useless. 1. they aren't there for you when you get down in the night time. 2. unless been through a similar situation really cannot begin to relate to what is going on. 3. need many sessions before actually trying to get some solutions when you need the answer right here right now. 4. they cost money.

I recommend mensline for people who are struggling. Found they challenged me a lot and didn't give me the 'there there give me a hug treatment' they actually gave me a dose of harden the f**k up and dont worry she will get her karma and you will son will see it. Found them fantastic and better than I thought.

Hoping my bills win the SB this year and another business venture where i can mainly work from home so i can attend all my sons activities. Its been hell, and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy, and I truly believe it, I just wouldn't.

Geez, that sounds terrible mate and I’m sorry you’re going through that. Good on you for reaching out for support and using the mens line. Too many of us guys would be too proud to seek help if they needed it. Thanks for sharing what you’re currently going through and I hope you find your way through this challenging time. Don’t be a stranger on here mate, it’d be great to see you pop up on some of the other footy threads as well.

 

[emjaycee]

Good thread mate. It is the same as me, a big reason why I rarely come anymore and why I do come is due to the last 5 years of hell I am going through.

If anyone has ever had a child with a narcissist or been involved in relationship with one will know what I am going through without even having to mention what has transpired. They will keep going. Each day is a struggle to get motivated, it has killed my businesses due to the mental anguish she has caused myself and my son. Narcissist are also tremendous manipulators and actually believe there own lies and convince themselves of it aswell as others. They can get themselves out of trouble time and time again due to there uncanny way of showing fake emotion and convincing they are a victim and everyone else's fault.

I watched the Amber Heard Johnny Depp thing closely.

My son is with me full time due to her neglect, abuse and so on. Offcourse it never happened according to her. Written statements provided by my sons doctor, daycare etc still not enough, reports to docs from all involved mainly professionals about her parenting and neglect. Nope all a lie. And now she wants 50/50 custody strangely, but firstly wants to look at what money I have. I dare say she will stop shortly once she realises my mothers estate is now gone which she is trying to get. However she will leach onto someone to fund her just to get back at me. No matter if it is her parents, ex or future boyfriend it doesn't matter, they are not humans they are potential assets to get what she wants.

While my son loves her, she is having the time of her life without him. Always laughing with friends when they talk, hasn't provided a cent towards him for 4 months claiming hardship (although her recent botox says differently). I am angry, depressed for my son and how a mother could do this to her son just to get at me, and show no real interest in seeing my son. But as narcissist know better than anyone they no there prayers weak spots and how to get to them through them. Mine is my son naturally. Doesn't matter if she carried him in her stomach and gave birth to him, he is disposable as he was part of me.

It is very hard to deal with, and this forum helps reading to take your mind of things. So now I am a full-time father/business owner with very little motivation. Have no life, and a half a bottle of vodka each night helps a lot.

When people say see someone I truly don't think they understand that many times they are quiet useless. 1. they aren't there for you when you get down in the night time. 2. unless been through a similar situation really cannot begin to relate to what is going on. 3. need many sessions before actually trying to get some solutions when you need the answer right here right now. 4. they cost money.

I recommend mensline for people who are struggling. Found they challenged me a lot and didn't give me the 'there there give me a hug treatment' they actually gave me a dose of harden the f**k up and dont worry she will get her karma and you will son will see it. Found them fantastic and better than I thought.

Hoping my bills win the SB this year and another business venture where i can mainly work from home so i can attend all my sons activities. Its been hell, and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy, and I truly believe it, I just wouldn't.

Hey Ron, thanks for sharing mate. Narcisists are absolute f'wits and having one in my family I can understand a very little bit of what you are going through.
Sounds to me like you are doing everything right (except maybe the vodka) for your son which is where your focus and attention should rightly be.
As you have seen from this thread, there are a lot of people on here who are willing and able to listen if needed.
Reach out if you ever need someone to chat to and keep going mate.

PS. If there is anything we can do to help your new business let us know.

 

[Jake the snake]

Jake been terrible, forgot to mention when my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (died early last year and still haven't been able to truly mourn her loss) she said she was exaggerating and full of shit. Made my life hell all up to 2 weeks before her death, eased up until 2 weeks after her death and then on que back to "now where were we".

I would provider her 1k a week in child support out of goodwill. Once that started to go down due to covid so did her parenting. Her parenting was all about the money she was getting from me. We have been broken up for 3 years but I wanted an amicable relationship. I should've just cut the cord a long time ago instead. Once I said to her hey I am reducing my money to you to 430 per week + daycare costs it was like " so your telling me, money just doesn't fall from the sky"

She expected every cent of money no matter if covid had brutally me, narcissist don't see that, they don't see the probable's, they are just acustominded to people helping them and living an easy life. Once that happened she decided to go back to her ex a guy I helped her get away from due to abuse, who in the pasts made threats towards my 4 year old son, and I found out she had been letting him stay at her house when he was there. And everyone was wondering why my sons behaviour had changed and was showing signs of trauma. He has money though.

Offcourse she has a solicitor now, has money even though hasn't worked in 11 years, only as of friday she decided to buy some clothes or him coincidently at the same time she is seeing her solicitor. I told her i need cold hard cash.

Sorry to hear about your mum mate. Condolences. What you are doing talking to people is great and you have a blessing that is your son, never forget that. With time I hope things get better for you man.

 

[PARRA_FAN]

Great thread. Ive only just noticed and read some pretty good posts about opening up to things.

I'll be honest Ive really struggled over the past few years but the last year was a really difficult one. Things were on and off in 2021, I had pretty good hope for turning things around, but then some happened and things got worse. I tried to fix things and change things up but never worked. I rarely told people what was happening in my life and if I kept things quiet and looked in a bad mood, for some reason other people would tell you to stop sulking and be happy. Honestly that makes things worse.

Has others on here had the same issues? Where instead of other people saying "Are you OK? I'm here for you" they say "Whats wrong with you, cmon cheer up" like do it aggressively.

Anyway it wasnt until late last year where I felt like I had enough. I rang someone and said "Ive had enough". This was when the paramedics came and took me to hospital where I spent another week there.

Things were building up inside me, getting rejected from people, unhappy with the job, trying to keep on top of finances, nothing was going right. I'm a single person and have been for a while and Ive been trying to meet someone but unfortunately when you get ghosted or get rejected, it makes you feel depressed. I had feelings for a girl but unfortunately she disappeared. I see other people like friends, family seem like they have happy lives going on holidays, get married, have kids. Its makes me wonder why I dont have this kind of life.

Thanks for starting this thread.

 

[Ron Jeremy]

Sorry to hear about your mum mate. Condolences. What you are doing talking to people is great and you have a blessing that is your son, never forget that. With time I hope things get better for you man.

Jake the hardest thing is talking to people. Narcissist will alienate it you from your close ones to leave you dependant on there choices, they will wither away any confidence you had and make them rely on them. They will also blackmail you at every point so you don’t take action. The fact she hasn’t been arrested has me beat, docs didn’t pursue the case cause I was deemed responsible. I never spoke to anyone about it as I truely believe things should stay in the household or there abouts.

They will drain every ounce of confidence from you and make yoh believe that no one will believe you so don’t even try.

what I learnt from my relationship for myself and others of future relationships is this initially

1. look at there friends look at who they get advice from. Shocked to see who some get advice from considering there history.
2. Look at there work history. If they say unemployed due to various reasons delve further. If you want to work you will work no matter what.
3. Look at the relationship they have with there mothers. Massive, I cannot stress this enough. Rarely do you find someone turn out normal with a terrible relationship with there mother. When I heard the way she spoke to her mother I was gobsmacked. Calling your mother a whore etc first time meeting her cannot ever turn out well.
4. Look at what they expect in a relationship ( if they say homebody or old fashioned run like the wind ).
5. Signs of early lying - this is a big thing.at the time we met she lied about her work. She was unemployed but said she was working in such and such - her imaginary job that she would love to do. This should’ve told me she was living in a fantasy world.