Mental Health

[T.S Quint]

Sorry to hear about this Gary.
Breakups are hard, but must be even harder when it's someone you've been with for 20 years. I can't even imagine. At least it sounds like it's an amicable split. I've seen a lot of messy breakups, and they are devastating.

Good luck to you both. I hope whatever is in store for you in the future that you are happy. That's the most important thing in life.

The Eels don't make it easy though.

 

[Stagger eel]

So it looks like after 20 years together, my wife and I are separating.

Fell out of love and became friends. I got comfortable and complacent and stopped being a loving husband.

We are dealing with it in an incredibly adult fashion which I am so grateful for, but that is a small victory at this point.

We’ll be fine. We are both intelligent and successful people but it really sucks and I am so regretful that I took things for granted.

I know many of you have been through this shit and survived and plenty of you have thriving relationships. It’s easy to get caught up in your own shit and forget what is important.

On the plus side, we don’t have kids or dogs so it’s comparatively easy and manageable.

been there done that a couple of times, it definitely isn't easy.

all the best on the transition, it's a scary but can be fulfilling journey.

Im going to share my story soon..

 

[hineyrulz]

Sorry to hear GG, sounds like it’s for the best for both of you which isn’t always the case for quite a few break ups.

 

[Gronk]

So it looks like after 20 years together, my wife and I are separating.

Fell out of love and became friends. I got comfortable and complacent and stopped being a loving husband.

We are dealing with it in an incredibly adult fashion which I am so grateful for, but that is a small victory at this point.

We’ll be fine. We are both intelligent and successful people but it really sucks and I am so regretful that I took things for granted.

I know many of you have been through this shit and survived and plenty of you have thriving relationships. It’s easy to get caught up in your own shit and forget what is important.

On the plus side, we don’t have kids or dogs so it’s comparatively easy and manageable.

I have no wise words for you mate. I imagine that the transition won’t be easy, but probably can be easier if you remain your pragmatic self.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Twizzle]

So it looks like after 20 years together, my wife and I are separating.

Fell out of love and became friends. I got comfortable and complacent and stopped being a loving husband.

We are dealing with it in an incredibly adult fashion which I am so grateful for, but that is a small victory at this point.

We’ll be fine. We are both intelligent and successful people but it really sucks and I am so regretful that I took things for granted.

I know many of you have been through this shit and survived and plenty of you have thriving relationships. It’s easy to get caught up in your own shit and forget what is important.

On the plus side, we don’t have kids or dogs so it’s comparatively easy and manageable.

sorry to hear that mate, you spent a long time together

 

[hindy111]

So it looks like after 20 years together, my wife and I are separating.

Fell out of love and became friends. I got comfortable and complacent and stopped being a loving husband.

We are dealing with it in an incredibly adult fashion which I am so grateful for, but that is a small victory at this point.

We’ll be fine. We are both intelligent and successful people but it really sucks and I am so regretful that I took things for granted.

I know many of you have been through this shit and survived and plenty of you have thriving relationships. It’s easy to get caught up in your own shit and forget what is important.

On the plus side, we don’t have kids or dogs so it’s comparatively easy and manageable.

Sorry to hear Garry. Sounds like you're still remaining possitive which is a credit to you.

 

[Suitman]

So it looks like after 20 years together, my wife and I are separating.

Fell out of love and became friends. I got comfortable and complacent and stopped being a loving husband.

We are dealing with it in an incredibly adult fashion which I am so grateful for, but that is a small victory at this point.

We’ll be fine. We are both intelligent and successful people but it really sucks and I am so regretful that I took things for granted.

I know many of you have been through this shit and survived and plenty of you have thriving relationships. It’s easy to get caught up in your own shit and forget what is important.

On the plus side, we don’t have kids or dogs so it’s comparatively easy and manageable.

Hi Gaz.

As others have said, I am also so sorry to hear that news.
If it is any consolation, I too separated after 20 years together with my former partner. Unlike you though, we had two kids and a dog.
The thing both you and I have in common is that we went down the same path as you appear to be going with your partner.
We (my ex and I ) stayed friends. In fact, we get along much better now than we ever did.
We catch up regularly for coffees, and I am often together with her and the kids at her place for breakfasts or lunches, and family get togethers.
A lot of this has to do with my acceptance of the whole situation. It could have turned to shit but I did everything to keep things cool and calm, for the kids sake (and mine), and it is amazing how happy we all are now.

As tough as it might seem now, you will move forward.
I don't know if you have a close mate nearby, but get out and chat to friends, and have a few beers.
You'll be fine in the long run.
I would ignore the suggestions to get out and find another friend or partner asap. f**k that.
Just do your own thing, settle down and enjoy your own company and friends for however long you need to. And stay friends with the ex if you can and still somewhat love her.
She has been an important part of your life and that should never be forgotten.

 

[Gary Gutful]

Hi Gaz.

As others have said, I am also so sorry to hear that news.
If it is any consolation, I too separated after 20 years together with my former partner. Unlike you though, we had two kids and a dog.
The thing both you and I have in common is that we went down the same path as you appear to be going with your partner.
We (my ex and I ) stayed friends. In fact, we get along much better now than we ever did.
We catch up regularly for coffees, and I am often together with her and the kids at her place for breakfasts or lunches, and family get togethers.
A lot of this has to do with my acceptance of the whole situation. It could have turned to shit but I did everything to keep things cool and calm, for the kids sake (and mine), and it is amazing how happy we all are now.

As tough as it might seem now, you will move forward.
I don't know if you have a close mate nearby, but get out and chat to friends, and have a few beers.
You'll be fine in the long run.
I would ignore the suggestions to get out and find another friend or partner asap. f**k that.
Just do your own thing, settle down and enjoy your own company and friends for however long you need to. And stay friends with the ex if you can and still somewhat love her.
She has been an important part of your life and that should never be forgotten.

Thank you Suity. I did think of you when I posted because I remember your posts over the years.

Agree entirely about finding another partner. Not even on my radar at this point.

As much as it would have hurt, I'm impressed at how you and your ex have made it work. Well done. If I can replicate I'll be very pleased.

 

[Gary Gutful]

Sorry to hear GG, sounds like it’s for the best for both of you which isn’t always the case for quite a few break ups.

I cant take you seriously with that avatar.

 

[hineyrulz]

I cant take you seriously with that avatar.

And don't call me Shirley.

 

[Rocket man]

So it looks like after 20 years together, my wife and I are separating.

Fell out of love and became friends. I got comfortable and complacent and stopped being a loving husband.

We are dealing with it in an incredibly adult fashion which I am so grateful for, but that is a small victory at this point.

We’ll be fine. We are both intelligent and successful people but it really sucks and I am so regretful that I took things for granted.

I know many of you have been through this shit and survived and plenty of you have thriving relationships. It’s easy to get caught up in your own shit and forget what is important.

On the plus side, we don’t have kids or dogs so it’s comparatively easy and manageable.

Sorry to hear mate.
I hope both of you will be Ok.

 

[Avenger]

Hi Gaz.

As others have said, I am also so sorry to hear that news.
If it is any consolation, I too separated after 20 years together with my former partner. Unlike you though, we had two kids and a dog.
The thing both you and I have in common is that we went down the same path as you appear to be going with your partner.
We (my ex and I ) stayed friends. In fact, we get along much better now than we ever did.
We catch up regularly for coffees, and I am often together with her and the kids at her place for breakfasts or lunches, and family get togethers.
A lot of this has to do with my acceptance of the whole situation. It could have turned to shit but I did everything to keep things cool and calm, for the kids sake (and mine), and it is amazing how happy we all are now.

As tough as it might seem now, you will move forward.
I don't know if you have a close mate nearby, but get out and chat to friends, and have a few beers.
You'll be fine in the long run.
I would ignore the suggestions to get out and find another friend or partner asap. f**k that.
Just do your own thing, settle down and enjoy your own company and friends for however long you need to. And stay friends with the ex if you can and still somewhat love her.
She has been an important part of your life and that should never be forgotten.

Best post you’ve ever made, Suity. Great advice.

All the best to you too mate.

 

[Avenger]

Thank you Suity. I did think of you when I posted because I remember your posts over the years.

Agree entirely about finding another partner. Not even on my radar at this point.

As much as it would have hurt, I'm impressed at how you and your ex have made it work. Well done. If I can replicate I'll be very pleased.

Don’t get a new partner yet but there is nothing wrong with getting an exotic Korean massage.

 

[Twizzle]

I think its amazing how our great game and the internet can bring together a buch of people of various ages and types and we've all been here so long its like one big family.

Like all brothers and sister we fight and bitch but hey, we cant all be robots.

This thread was a great idea and it seems that some of us have really benefitted from it.

May it long continue and well done @Elementary for starting the thread.

Go Parra

 

[T.S Quint]

I think its amazing how our great game and the internet can bring together a buch of people of various ages and types and we've all been here so long its like one big family.

Like all brothers and sister we fight and bitch but hey, we cant all be robots.

This thread was a great idea and it seems that some of us have really benefitted from it.

May it long continue and well done @Elementary for starting the thread.

Go Parra

Well said.

With footy, it feels great to win, and it feels shit to lose, but at the end of the day it's just a game that we support.
Whether we agree with each other or not about who the coach is, who is a good player and who isn't, whether the club is doing the right thing...we are all human beings and have lives outside of footy which are way more important than whether our team win on the weekend or not.

 

[hindy111]

Don’t get a new partner yet but there is nothing wrong with getting an exotic Korean massage.

I had one once. I didn't enjoy it. I felt to guilty. This is what happens when you're raised catholic.

 

[Soren Lorenson]

I had one once. I didn't enjoy it. I felt to guilty. This is what happens when you're raised catholic.

Analed by being a catho..................oh never mind.

 

[Soren Lorenson]

Seriously though @Gary Gutful all the best mate I have no experience in this area but can't imagine it's easy.

 

[Avenger]

Like everyone I have some ups and downs but I try and keep active. Usually lift weights a couple of time per week but nothing gets my mood up like a nice interval run/brisk walk on the treadmill.

Came home and felt a little indifferent. Just burned 500 calories in half an hour. Total of 5km. The heart rate is up and I feel great.

Highly recommend to all of you especially the middle aged grumpy merkins like me.

 

[Twizzle]

Like everyone I have some ups and downs but I try and keep active. Usually lift weights a couple of time per week but nothing gets my mood up like a nice interval run/brisk walk on the treadmill.

Came home and felt a little indifferent. Just burned 500 calories in half an hour. Total of 5km. The heart rate is up and I feel great.

Highly recommend to all of you especially the middle aged grumpy merkins like me.

at middle age you need to do something, keeps you mentally fit as well as physically fit, I do a similar workout most days swim 2ks-2.5ks a day and also do weights

fighting my way back to fitness after having covid at christmas is a battle atm