For much of the year it has been a season to remember for Shaun Kenny-Dowall.
But in recent days his family has discussed the fact that memories may be all they have. They have broached the fact he may not make it back on the field. It's difficult to comprehend how so much has happened in such a short time.
On a perfect winter's morning at Clovelly Beach, after a match-winning performance where he went past Bill Mullins as the Roosters second-highest try scorer, Kenny-Dowall should have been on top of the world. He was due to speak to the media, but had arrived early and sidled up for a chat. We talked footy for a while, but then he started to talk about relationships. And money. And trust.
It was broad and the exact content of our conversation will remain at the beach. It's fair to say his outlook didn't match the bright day. At the time I didn't think too much of it, but I thought it was out of left field.
To the best of my knowledge, SKD was in a happy relationship. Just a few weeks before our chat at Clovelly, I rang his then partner Jessica Peris on the day that Kenny-Dowall was announcing his new two-year deal with the club.
She was more than happy to take part in an interview with Shaun. The Roosters ran late and Shaun was the last person out to speak to the media, but she waited in the cold outside the NRL for over half an hour chatting with my cameraman.
When SKD turned up, the greeting between the pair was warm and the talk between the pair was genuine off-camera on camera it was gushing.
"He's very kind-hearted and very loyal," she said. "We have a very special relationship. I don't want to get too mushy, I'll get a bit teary eyed."
Throw forward two months and I'm sitting in a cafe with Shaun's dad John Dowall. And he is in tears. He has slept 15 hours in five days.
But he won't stop until he has his son back. Kenny-Dowall is facing serious charges, the relationship is destroyed and lives have been turned upside down on both sides.
Before writing another word, it's best to state the obvious there is never an excuse for domestic violence. That's not a rider or a throwaway line. I am aware of the impact of domestic violence. It's brutal and long-lasting. The mental scars are far deeper than the physical ones.
"As a family, and I include Shaun in this front and centre, we firmly believe there is no place for domestic violence ... no place, and women who are victims of it deserve support," John said. He wanted that view to be made public. He is that sure his son has not done anything wrong.
Before the drama was made public, but when it was already an issue at the club, John sat down with his son and his agent.
They were in a city cafe waiting to meet the club-appointed lawyer. He put it on Shaun to let him know if he had ever been involved in an act of domestic violence.
He implored him to "come clean" so they could deal with the matter.
Kenny-Dowall said that he had never touched Jessica. Now we are hearing his side of the story; hers is being presented in the form of the police charges some very serious.
There are a number of common assault charges, where no physical harm is alleged to have occurred.
The worst charge Kenny-Dowall is facing relates to Peris saying he bruised her arm in October when he grabbed her. He denies this.
Attempts to speak to Jessica have been unsuccessful.
I've known her since she was a young girl and I'd often ring her to get in touch with her mother Nova, because she always answered her phone. She was always polite, intelligent and mature beyond her years. I was really happy the pair were dating. On the surface it appeared to be a perfect match.
But after a honeymoon period, things started to go wrong. The issues started emerging after Jessica quit her job as an assistant to an executive to follow her mum's career as a runner. She wanted to try to make it to the Rio Games.
The couple had been arguing about many things and their final exchange happened in front of one of Kenny-Dowall's closest mates. Then there was money at least that's what lawyers for the couple were haggling about for the past month as they tried to work out a suitable split after an 18-month relationship.
There was a lump sum put forward, discussion about rent and talk of a vehicle. Those discussions came about after Jessica emailed the Roosters when compensation was mentioned. "The way that I brought Shaun up was to admit to your mistakes, but if you have done nothing wrong, you have hold firm in your beliefs," John said.
When things started to deteriorate Jessica started to forward to her parents text messages that Shaun sent to her. The exact content of the messages are unknown, but they form part of the charges that Kenny-Dowall has to answer.
What is certain is that she was referred to in a way that expressed the anger he was experiencing at the time. After their final argument Kenny-Dowall had a road trip and team camp on the Central Coast. He left the house and told Jessica to move out. She left and moved in with her sprint coach Roger Fabri. The allegations were then made to police and the charges followed.
Kenny-Dowall had already been struggling. There are suggestions that he left a training session in tears. He went to Maroubra police station on Saturday morning without his lawyer. He was placed in a cell and kept at the station for six hours. If he wasn't on edge before that, he was by the time he left.
By that stage his family were increasingly concerned. There was thought that he still might play on Sunday against the Warriors. He met at a park with Roosters coach Trent Robinson. It didn't take long for Robinson to conclude that Kenny-Dowall was in no state to play. Describing what happened after that is what brings his dad John to tears. But he won't talk about that publicly. You can glean what you want out of that. He will talk about what happened on Sunday when the concern peaked.
After a very difficult night Shaun was staying at his dad's place in Bondi. He was being watched but jumped a back fence. He took his father's car. He could not be contacted and John called the police. John got in his wife's car and headed straight to The Gap. The lonely drive to The Gap was the worst minutes of John's life.
He was looking for something he didn't want to find.
"I had it all planned out," he said. "If I saw his car I was going to get to the edge and get down to him as quick as I could. I wasn't going to let him be alone down there."
The police searched block by block through the Eastern Suburbs and found him in Bellevue Hill.
Three cop cars pulled up next to him. He was sitting in his car staring blankly into space with a newspaper beside him. He wasn't responsive, was emotionless and was not making sense. He felt let down and alone.
It was time to get serious help. He was assessed, placed into hospital and medicated. His dad has hardly left his side. He has seen his son in a state he never wanted to see him in. He has borne the brunt of his anger. "As a family we have had the conversation that Shaun's career could be over, not because he has done anything wrong, instead because of the effect that this has had on him," John said. "But I know that he has the ability to come through the other side. He will have his day in court and he will come back into the game with a clear name."
Lifeline 13 11 14
National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service 1800737732
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