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[Pete Cash]

NZ cricket is dirt poor because nobody gives a shit about it. Australian cricketers like Smith are millionaires before the IPL. Weird if we are "the same"

 

[ANTiLAG]

NZ cricket is dirt poor because nobody gives a shit about it. Australian cricketers like Smith are millionaires before the IPL. Weird if we are "the same"

What is the relevance of the IPL or the fact that Steven Smith was overlooked in IPL auctions until 2014?

Why do you struggle with the fact that India forms the lion's share of revenue for every test cricket nation?

You seem very uncomfortable to accept this fact. Why?

 

[Pete Cash]

I don't struggle with it. I'm fine with Australia's place in the game ? Not as important as India but more important than pretty much every other nation. Pretty good for a tiny nation. Michael Clarke got more money from cricket Australia in his last years than nrl teams entire salary caps.

We do alright pal. NZ is the poorest board in the world right ?

 

[ANTiLAG]

I don't struggle with it. I'm fine with Australia's place in the game ? Not as important as India but more important than pretty much every other nation. Pretty good for a tiny nation. Michael Clarke got more money from cricket Australia in his last years than nrl teams entire salary caps.

We do alright pal. NZ is the poorest board in the world right ?

Possibly. NZ, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Zimbabwe and West Indies are all pretty poor.

West Indies have also sold their broadcast rights to Pitch International. (I am sure that Sony has underlying interest in that company -either way they sell NZ cricket in India to Sony).

Until NZ brokers its own deals on India tours, it will probably get worse. It happens as insurance in case an Indian tour falls over and does not occur - which could literally bankrupt a cricket board like NZ or South Africa. But for example because we do not have a joint venture distributor like Channel 9 and Cricket Australia set up for digital rights - we miss out on a lot of money by being middle manned so completely by a profit making comapny. (I am massive channel 9 and Kerry Packer fan in cricketing terms - they really have looked after Australian cricketers more than people appreciate while making money for themselves).

Because of the modern game's structure, India can hold it to ransom, including England and Australia. Small countries insure against this at great cost.

As for Australia being a tiny nation - cricket is your national game and on free to air television. This does not happen in England where cricket is nigh irrelevant for the majority of the population. Cricket is on pay tv in England.

White South African population 4.5 million and 1.2 million asians. That is 5.7 million base to draw from for cricket interest. Black South Africans have little interest in anything that is not football despite quotas and politics in Cricket and Union (though one SA city has genuine Black interest in Union - Cape Town).

Pakistan has a big population but broke as hell. Ditto Bangladesh. Australia is more populace than West Indies, New Zealand, Zimbabwe. You're not tiny at 20 million and national game. Be more cricket fans in Australia than in England. Easy.

But at 1.25 billion people at home and hundreds of millions more away and only 26 Olympic medals (where 11 are for hockey and 4 for shooting), and a massive middle class, its all about the rupees. In terms ICC events India broadcast money is over 75% of the total pool. Their market is that big. This does not include the value of their ex-patriate market throughout the world which is also huge.

 

[El Diablo]

 

[El Diablo]

 

[hineyrulz]

Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

"Why won't somebody show NZ cricket some respect"

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!


" they really are a nice bunch of blokes"



Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

" We demand respect"

 

[ANTiLAG]

Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

"Why won't somebody show NZ cricket some respect"

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!


" they really are a nice bunch of blokes"



Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

" We demand respect"

Noone expects Australians to show respect to people. You're known throughout the world for the inability to show respect to people, and in fact be disrespectful to people. Be it the unnecessary sledging send offs in cricket or far far worse. This is how the world typically sees Australians as a mass. Quite the antithesis of exhibiting respect towards people.

 

[ANTiLAG]

A thriller huh? Are thrillers still thrillers when they are non-competitive in a series a decider?

 

[hineyrulz]

If only us Aussies were as nice as you Kiwi's

 

[El Diablo]

An Australian couple are holidaying in New Zealand and driving along a country road between two farms they come across a farmer sexually assaulting a sheep. The driver stops, rolls his window down and says "Hey Mate! In Australia we shear those things!" to which the buggering farmer responds immediately "I ain't shearin this beauty with anyone

 

[Twatface Magee]

An Australian couple are holidaying in New Zealand and driving along a country road between two farms they come across a farmer sexually assaulting a sheep. The driver stops, rolls his window down and says "Hey Mate! In Australia we shear those things!" to which the buggering farmer responds immediately "I ain't shearin this beauty with anyone

:lol:
Doubt a Kiwi would even get the joke lol

 

[Hutty1986]

Noone expects Australians to show respect to people. You're known throughout the world for the inability to show respect to people, and in fact be disrespectful to people. Be it the unnecessary sledging send offs in cricket or far far worse. This is how the world typically sees Australians as a mass. Quite the antithesis of exhibiting respect towards people.

:lol: This post made my day. The 'look at me' cries from little brother are delightful.

 

[ANTiLAG]

An Australian couple are holidaying in New Zealand and driving along a country road between two farms they come across a farmer sexually assaulting a sheep. The driver stops, rolls his window down and says "Hey Mate! In Australia we shear those things!" to which the buggering farmer responds immediately "I ain't shearin this beauty with anyone

:lol:
Doubt a Kiwi would even get the joke lol

Oh a Kiwi would get the joke, but just find it far funnier than the Australian writing it has spelt the punchline's homophone incorrectly.

The incorrect use of the letter "e" reminds me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdqbi66oNuI

 

[El Diablo]

Oh a Kiwi would get the joke, but just find it far funnier than the Australian writing it has spelt the punchline's homophone incorrectly.

The incorrect use of the letter "e" reminds me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdqbi66oNuI

he didn't get it

 

[ANTiLAG]

he didn't get it

You spelt the punchline homophone word of a joke incorrectly which to me and other Kiwis I am sure is funnier in itself than a joke about Kiwi farmer's misinterpretation of the homophones of the verbs "share" with "shear" that remain homophones in the present tense of "sharing" and "shearing" and this misinterpretation reveals said farmer has sexual jealously towards his sheep.

If you try to suggest that you misspelt the word deliberately for some inexplicable grammatical purpose, then you're a fool because noone can "hear" the spelling mistake of a homophone with another hompohone when spoken (because the fact that the two words are pronounced identically but spelt differently as to different meanings automatically makes the two words homophones) and you were purporting to quote the Kiwi farmer directly with your writing. Noone can misspell a homophone with another homophone when they are speaking. Its impossible. People do not spell when they are speaking words. But every writer spells with every word they write. So if this was your intention, that is a foolish error for you to have made.

Or if you did not realise you spelt it incorrectly then you're a fool who stuffed up a homophone misinterpretation joke and made himself the punchline by spelling out the wrong homophone mistakenly. Given that the kiwi farmer in the joke misinterprets the homophone and replies that he loves his sheep jealously; but the fact that person writing the joke cannot even spell the bloody homophone correctly and muddles up the spelling of the farmer's misinterpreted homophone reply. That is far more amusing to me than the joke itself is amusing (or insulting for that matter). I am laughing my ass off at the fool who has made the writing mistake because there are bad times to spell words incorrectly and look even more foolish than normal. The punchline homophone word of a misinterpretation joke is right near the top of the list.

Whether you intended the spelling mistake, or it was an accident, either way - you appear foolish and given the context, its quite amusing. You're foolishness takes attention away from the joke that you're telling and makes you the joke. Haha.

 

[El Diablo]

i think this idiot is actually being serious

 

[ANTiLAG]

i think this idiot is actually being serious

I am.

I think you're a fool for misspelling the punchline word in a misinterpretation joke with the very same word that was being misinterpreted in the joke itself.

Its not normally funny to laugh at another person's poor spelling, but given the context, I find it amusing.

Omitting the letter "g" from sharin' in the written quote was fine to reveal the person speaking had contracted the word but including the "e" and making the word "shearin'" - that is completely and utterly foolish of you given the context. Your mistake became funnier than the joke itself given the context.

Wait, you do realise its a misinterpretation joke right? You do realise that the farmer misinterprets the Australian tourist, don't you? Do you think the joke creator meant for the farmer to correctly interpret the Australian tourist and reply that should this sheep ever be shorn, it will only only be shorn by him, and he will not have the assistance of a shearing gang? Is that what you think?

Anyway - here is a better and funnier version of the joke when it was written in English and before it was bastardised by Australians:

You may not know that before I moved to the UK, I worked on a farm in New Zealand, shearing sheep.

One day I walked into the woolshed and to my horror discovered a workmate being extremely familiar with one of our woolly friends.

'MATE!' I said, 'you're supposed to be SHEARING that sheep!'

With a grin (and a grunt) he replied 'I'm not sharing Matilda with ANYONE!'

 

[Twatface Magee]

Definitely doesn't get the joke

 

[ANTiLAG]

Definitely doesn't get the joke

Well you're worse with reading and comprehension than El Diablo then.

Here are some more jokes you will struggle to comprehend.

A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Melbourne and when drink orders were taken, the Aussie asked for a rum and Coke, which was placed before him.

The attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, ''I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.''

The Aussie handed back his drink and said: ''Me too. I didn't know we had a choice.''

And another:

An Australian pilot when mid-flight was asked for his height and position replied;

"I'm 5"11' and sitting in the front seat.

Q: What's the difference between yoghurt and Australians ?

A: At least yoghurt starts with a little culture.

And some oldies but still funny.

Q: How many Aussies does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

A: Ten. One to make the butter, and nine to peel the M&Ms

Q: What do you call an Aussie with half a brain ?

A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call an Aussie who scores well in an IQ test ?

A: A cheat

Q: How do you define 144 Australians ?

A: Gross stupidity.

Q: What do you call a field full of Australians ?

A: A vacant lot.

Q: If Santa Claus, a smart Aussie and a dumb blonde were in a room, and you tossed in a hundred dollar note, who would grab it first ?

A: The blonde - the other two don't exist.

But hey tell your NZ'ers are sheep shaggers jokes, but try and write them in English.

And remember, Australia has far more sheep than NZ does, more than double, 30 million to 70 million compared so there is more for farmers to do in Australia then merely tie kangaroos down:

"Australia; where men are men and sheep are nervous."