Jealousy

[Crusher]

i think what he is trying to say is that no-one else is responsible for your degree of happiness or otherwise. Its up to you to make it happen.

 

[Punkess]

Yeah I've gotta agree with Immortal.

Letting someone else being around (like bf/gf) dictate whether or not you are happy is wrong. What happens when they're gone? What happens if they turn on you?

Like he said, self-worth and happiness needs to come from yourself. Then you're in a better position to have a meaningful relationship with someone, where you're not emotionally dependent on them for your own happiness.

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

there is someone for everyone. In some cases more than one

not true, me, 19 and a half, one girl ever, soon was we f**ked the whole thing went to sh*t, it was the worst time of my life, the whole time i was depressed and sh*t and had to carry her emotions on top of mine and became a total wreck, aint worth it, all my boys have to check with their missus 'can i go the pub' now theyre all pussy whipped and go home like 1am instead of weekend long benders we used to have, plus the majority of chicks are too materialistic and are all about model looks and cash and bla bla...not all i know (so any chicks reading dont get cut), but the majority of what ive MET HAVE BENN

what i meant with everything happens for a reason is different to like ur life is already planned out, i was gonna go home with my mates one night from the pub, they all pissed and high and so was i, for some reason i said 'nah f**k it ill walk tonight' i did, im alive, theyre not, i wasnt meant to be in that car, they were, as hard as it is to write that, its true, i was supposed to go to the city one day, my mate rang up and i said na i dont feel like going today, 2 hours later my work called 'we've read your application are you available for an interview? now im working and havent looked back, thats the kinda sh*t im talkg about, i dont explain myself very well

with relationships, having been in onlyui one but always the one who has to reassure and comfort friends n sh*t, too many people take the easy option ,its easier to break up or divorce after a fight than to reconcile and just move on, my best mate is dead and i just get over it now like 3 years on, how does a pety fight compare to that? the last thing u say to ur mate is something stupid instead of 'love ya man (no homo)i got ur back u my mate for life' or some sh*t, i donno, im a bit too scattered right now so this sh*t isnt making sense :?

dying to live, living to die :crazy:

 

[Punkess]

I don't know that everything happens for a reason or anything. Sometimes stuff just happens and you can't always explain it. Some choices just turn out to be better or worse, and unless you have a crystal ball into the future, it can be hard to make the right decisions sometimes. You just have to take what you know at the time and make the best decision you can.

I mean lets say this little kid I used to know who was 11 at the time (he'd be 19 now), he was playing in the park with his friends and had an asthma attack and didn't make it, but it didn't happen for a reason... it was just an unfortunate incident.

I think in life some things you just have to accept as that... unfortunate, and do your best to try to have a say in the rest, and try to improve your life.

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

na i dont mean like you cant control your life, on the contrary actually, but i mean, i believe the sh*t that happens has a reason behind it, you might fnd out the same day or you might find out 20 years later, i dont believe in destiny or fate

with your friend, sad story, but i guess it also depends on your take on the afterlife and sh*t, i kinda believe in your time is up, i mean, people dying randomly confuses me, like, if it was perfect we would just pass silently in our sleep, but someone just copping a random bullet in the head and the explanation from the killer was 'no reason, just did it' confuses me, i believe that was their time, we all have a time limit

 

[Raider_69]

im jealous of Dilmah's beer flavoured dick

 

[Punkess]

It sounds like you hold in a very deterministic point of veiw... i mean you're saying that everything has a reason, so one thing determines something else happening. If that is the case, then there's a long line of causation and past events will affect future events.

I believe there is a certain amount of uncertainty where things just randomly happen and you can't always control or understand it, now or in the future.

I also don't believe in the time limit thing. Our life expectancy has increased heaps over the last few decades and if there was a time limit then that wouldn't really have been possible imo.

 

[Timmah]

Coming back to the whole happiness thing - it's my favourite quote and I've used it before, but it goes back to having moments of happiness... "glimpses of perfection". In between those moments, you do enough to be OK. Placing your happiness in another person isn't always going to make you happy. Love isn't always going to be enough. Sometimes things will mess up and not work. You're still alive through everything... and every now and again a bonus comes along, and for a short little while, you feel truly happy, and everything goes right. Not everyone is destined to spend their life coupled with someone.... but it's a nice thought. I think a lot of people in this thread so far have taken some of the arguments to heart though.

im jealous of Dilmah's beer flavoured dick

Good to see you finally admit it.

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

i mean the time limit spiritually, anyway, we have a time limit technically speaking because we all die one day (stupid comment yes but eh i donno)

yes, i see everything has a reason because if it didnt it wouldnt happen, everything done, said, thought about is done with reason so would things out of your control be different? but i dont see it like, this determines that which determined that which determines this (in a way) im saying, for some unknown reason i didnt get in the car with a bunch of drunks when i normaly would of and they died and im here - theres a reason for that which i havent found yet, why would i be the salvaged one when i was expelled from school coz i neva bothered to turn up and got sh*tty average grades anyway and im in a basic job when this guy was heaps mad at english and wanted to be a journo and would easily of made it, i dont, and never will understand that, so im saying theres a reason why i have to be here - good bad or ugly and theres a reason why he isnt, some people believe in like god calls his good peoples early due to good deeds or whatever, i dont but just raising a possibility

 

[Punkess]

Different things work for different people I guess... there's no general guideline on how to be happy otherwise there would be like an ISO standard or something on happiness, and everyone would be prancing around with glee.

For me though, I couldn't rely on someone to make me happy, cause I could still be with someone and doubting "oh am I good-looking enough", or "am i smart enough". That is something you have to know for yourself.

I still think that having someone around is cool, like it's nice to be able to share my life experiences with someone else who cares and to hear theirs. It's just that I think being happy with yourself, and having self-respect is the first thing you need to build a healthy relationship.

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

but does being good looking or being smart or having perfect tits or brown hair make a difference since its who are you and not what you are that counts? you can have a blue ipod, a green ipod, a gold incerested ipod and an ipod that sucks my dick but in the end its an mp3 player, its what it does (in human sense who it is) not what its outside is that interests me, but thats your opinion and im not hating on u

it sucks being young and confused

 

[Alba]

I'm glad to see that this thread didn't go up the sh*t because it is a serious thread. And I hope that everyone that has shared their opinions feel better for doing so because I do.

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

well i hope u r feeling better and continue to do so...

...for those who have ever opend up their problems to somebody, does that sh*t work? i sorta did once, but i didnt feel any better so ive kept alllllllll my sh*t inside, just exploring options....

 

[Alba]

You do feel better. Because writing it all down and listening to an outside view and looking at it all in writing kinda puts things into perspective in your mind and you can start to figure things out for yourself. That's what I think anyway.

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

so just write out my problems, read it back to myself and ill be able to like disect my problems and sh*t? might try it, thx

 

[Alba]

lol actually I didn't mean that but it sounds like it might work!

 

[Tonearm Terrorwrist]

sorry i see wot u mean, but i aint got a 'mate' to do that with, were not that kidna group lol

 

[Knightmare]

plus the majority of chicks are too materialistic and are all about model looks and cash and bla bla...not all i know (so any chicks reading dont get cut), but the majority of what ive MET HAVE BENN

So true. I'm pretty sure that I'm a misogynist these days. As for your idea on fate, I disagree. We choose our own fate. You walked that night because you felt like it, that's all.

 

[Eelementary]

Not at all... you're spot on there... it doesn't mean excuses are easier though, it's more that life goes on.... if something's happened it's happened. You can't change it now. More of a reflecting on the past remark rather than making excuses for the future.

Well, I have found that when I accept that everything happens for a reason, failure (in whatever aspect of life)...It no longer concerns me, because that's how my life was always going to turn out, so what else can I do?

Hence I believe that no matter what happens, everything that happens to me is as a result of my choices.

 

[Punkess]

Ah but if your choices are based on the past then they too are pre-determined and there you have an outcome that you were always destined for!! :Crazy: