madunit's jibberish thread

[madunit]

Observation #16 Brown

At what age is it when Brown becomes the only colour of all your clothing? Of course there is the other version of this colour which is used by the aged community; beige. These aren't fashionable colours for every item of clothing people.

They are drab, dull and boring. The day that brown and beige become fashionable is the day I hope to turn 94.

Some brown clothing worn on odd occasions is not too bad, but a constant barrage of brown is just miserable.

I blame the people who donate clothing to the salvo's. Its this clothing which the oldies buy due to their piss poor pension payments. So people, I urge you to help your community, donate clothes that aren't brown or beige!

 

[madunit]

Observation #17 The checkout chick

Ever notice how she always asks "How are you?" but in reality, she really doesn't care how you are?

And she says it in a high pitched, overly happy, over enthusiastic and totally unrealistic way. That's so depressing, she has a shitty job which pays shit wages, pimples all over her greasy face, no idea about weight ratios and how to fill a plastic bag evenly with groceries, but she is happier than I am.

I'd like to see realistic check out chicks, who show how they really feel.

Checkout Chick: (miserably) Hello.
Customer: Hello, how are you?
Checkout Chick: Like you f**king care.
Customer: Okaaaaaay
Checkout Chick: Just get your groceries up here so we can move on, and then I can go home, I have unpaid bills and you're holding up the damn process with idle chit chat. I'm here to operate a til and to pack your groceries, you're hear to pay for it, there's no talk involved. You do your job and I'll do mine. Deal with it!

 

[MC DUI]

Keep them coming Madunit, loving your work

 

[madunit]

Hey MC DUI, you'd remember this thread from last year I reckon
http://forums.leagueunlimited.com/viewtopic.php?t=4894

It was a great piece of work, very funny.

 

[madunit]

Observation #18 self entertainment
Before anyone gets their hopes up, this is not about Phillips. This is about talking to yourself.

It seems that whenever someone is caught talking to themselves, people comment on how its a sign of madness.

However....

How come no one ever applies this notion when someone is singing to themselves?

From now on people, if you wish to avoid being dubbed as having signs of madness, you should sing to yourself instead of speaking.

This theory would drastically decrease the number of mental patients I reckon.

 

[madunit]

Observation #19 The general store

I've noticed there's a lot of these places which advertise themselves as seven elevens.

Now, the name seven eleven is derived from the hours which the business operates. 7am until 11pm.

However, these stores state that they are open 24/7, implying 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Why can't they make up their minds as to how long the store is open?

 

[Panthers_Gurl]

:lol: :lol:

 

[madunit]

Observation #20 Peace protesters

What a bunch of oxymorons. They disturb the peace in a protest (yet another unpeaceful action) to fight (not very peaceful either) for peace. In order to get peace they need to be physically un-peaceful. And these are the sorts of actions they are marching against.

Does that mean they are opposing their own protest?

If you were to have a peace protest, there would be a lot of agreeance, politeness, manners and courtesy.

I can imagine it now.
Security: What do you people want?
Prostestor: Hello sir, we are just here to enquire about the sending of troops to Iraq to fight in a war.
Security: Whats your enquiry?
Prostestor: Well my good man, we would like to know if there was at all an alternative of a much more peaceful version?
Security: Thats a matter for the minister of defence to discuss.
Prostestor: I would hate to trouble you sir, but would it be possible for us to speak with the honourable minister for defence?
Security: Have you made an appointment?
Prostestor: Oh damn, we haven't actually, but is it possible he could fit us in today?
Security: You need to make an appointment.
Prostestor: Okay, sorry to bother you sir, we appreciate the time you afforded us to answer our questions. Would it be possible for us to sit on the lawn down there and have our tea and scones?
Security: No.
Prostestor: Oh, ok, well thanks again for your time, good day to you sir.
Security: Yeah righto, see ya.

 

[madunit]

Observation #21 Talking into microphones

Now this isn't about all users of microphones. It's actually only directed at Train Drivers and people in Supermarkets.

No matter how hard you concentrate on what they are saying, the only words you hear are the words you don't need to know about.

Why can't these people speak slow, without a mouthful of something, and pronounce the station names close to their actual name?

 

[madunit]

Rant #1 Australian Idol

This show is a joke. An exceedingly large congregation of inept adolescents who think they are musicians. But it doesn't end there.

The judges are even worse, ets have a look at them shall we;
Mark Holden - Here's a man judging talented beings. I would like to know how someone with no talent has the right to judge others on talent? Mr 'One Hit Wonder' who's musical career was a long way short of successful is now telling prospecting talent what they are doing wrong and why they won't make it. Every word he utters is jealousy riddled.

Marcia Hines - If she knew how to come up with 2 songs that sounded different she may have been successful. Her biggest claim to fame is being a judge on Australian Idol.

Dicko - This poor bastard looks like he's been dragged in to this competition against his own will. Then he is told that one of these talentless twats are going to have a record contract with him. Its a loss-loss situation for this poor man.

With that said, I see there is Australian Idol 2 now. Wasn't the first version of the show supposed to unearth the next big talent in Australia? Why are we searching again? Have the judges realised they stuffed up by giving that freak with the 'fro the winners title?
How would he feel, he's no longer good enough, they are searching again to find someone better than him. He's so bad that they are starting a whole new series, which pretty much says 'fro, you suck so bad, we have to scour the country to find all the people better than you, so far we have found enough to have another full series'

That show is a load of crap!

How about getting some professional people to be the judges, piss the sms voting crap off. What would pre pubescent children know about music or the industry? I'll tell you - nothing! They have no idea.

So why are they given any right in the voting? I know why, because the judges have no idea what talent looks like as its something they never possessed.

Give the show some credibility, have some successful and professional members of the music industry as judges and abolish the sms voting caper. Then you'll have reality TV and the winner will be the next big thing!

 

[madunit]

Observation #22 Chips and dip

Whats the go with Corn Chips and Salsa Dip. Why isn't there enough slasa dip to last me a packet of corn chips? Has some dork in marketing decided it'd be a great idea to supply me with an insufficient amount of salsa dip?
Why aren't there bigger jars of salsa dip available than the pissy 300g jar? I don't think I should have to buy 2 jars of salsa dip for one packet of chips. Quite simply because one packet of chips equates to One and a half jars of salsa dip.

This whole situation is pathetic. Doritos, I'm, holding you liable for pissing me off. Not many companies end up in the jibberish thread, but you have now made it onto Hulka's stab list!

********************************************************************
Disclaimer: I would like to state though, that Doritos chips and salsa dips are better than any other companies, but I'm still pissed off.

 

[Panthers_Gurl]

:lol: i always have salsa dip left over

 

[madunit]

Observation #23 The tune

It's happened to all of us I'm sure. You have a great little tune in your head and it keeps you kinda happy all day long, mentally humming along to your little tune. hen something happens, your song changes, you get halfway through your song and then without even realising it, you're singing some shitty song that you never liked.

No matter what you do, you can't kill it. You go back to your good song and you start going through it from the start, but at the same point every time, you change to the other crappy song. Eventually your mood is ruined and the good song totally disappears and the crap one takes over. You can't kill it!

 

[madunit]

Observation #24 The weatherman

This man always has a pen in his hand. He's no longer worthy of a pointer. He has a pen. He has no paper to write on. And he has nothing to write. He sometimes doesn't even use the pen for pointing, he just holds it with both hands.

Why is there a pen? The pen is not needed. Pens are used for writing and in extreme cases of boredom, for chewing on. The weatherman is not writing, he's not bored, because he's doing his job, and he can't take the chewing option as he has to speak to the audience at home.

I say kill the pen off. Give it to the bloke who reads the sport. He always has paper and no pen.

Maybe the weatherman felt insignificant and one day in anger he stole the sports readers pen. That would explain why the sprots reader never throws to the weatherman, it always goes back to the main news reader who has to throw to the weatherman. I think there's something up there, its a conspiracy by all weathermen to try and feel as significant as the sports reader.

 

[madunit]

Observation #25 The toothpaste

There are a few things here. First of all, why is it, no matter how much you try and be neat and tidy with the toothpaste, by the end of the tube there's always some toothpaste thats been unused and sitting around the cap of the tube. Sometimes theres so much that the lid doesn't even close. I think the cap needs to be enhanced to stop this from happening in the future, I value my toothpaste, every little bit goes towards improving my dental hygiene and works to prevent halitosis.

Then there's the shared tube of toothpaste. This is the tube where only one person knows how to operate the tube of toothpaste correctly, by squeezing from the bottom of the tube. Everyone else squeezes from the middle (which could possibly lead to the cause of my first point). The one person who uses it correctly seems to get irate at times too that the toothpaste is being misused.

Maybe the people who create the caps on toothpaste are also the people who squeeze from the middle and not the end. :idea:

 

[Forum Idiot]

Then there's the shared tube of toothpaste. This is the tube where only one person knows how to operate the tube of toothpaste correctly, by squeezing from the bottom of the tube. Everyone else squeezes from the middle (which could possibly lead to the cause of my first point). The one person who uses it correctly seems to get irate at times too that the toothpaste is being misused.

holy toledo, madunit! i can identify so much with that post. that is the best post i have ever read on these forums.

 

[madunit]

Observation #26 The dishes

Seriously, I hate it when people will leave dirty dishes etc in the sink. There are many people who do this and it really is lazy. To all of you people who do this, I put to you the following:

*Did you know, it takes more effort to walk to the sink then what it actually does to wash the plate?
*Did you know that the time it takes to wash the plate, in most cases, is equal in time spent walking to the sink..
*If you wash the plate when you get to the sink, a sense of accomplishment will overcome you.
*If you wash the plate, you won't hav to wash it later.
*If you live with your parents, and you wash your plate, you will be in the good books.
*If you wash your plate, you will not get a reputation as being lazy, dirty and smelly. These three trademarks will not auger well for future employment aspirations.

The only reason why this Observtion has been made is because I had to (for the umpteenth time) clean all the dishes, etc because there was nothing clean. And I always wash my plates, cutlery and cups but they had since been used and dirtied since I washed them.

 

[Gemini_Princess_1]

Or you could try paper plates and disposable cutlery :lol: Or eating straight from the pizza box hAA HAA

 

[tUp]

:lol: :lol: :lol: at everything madunit has said in this thread.

 

[Alba]

oooh gemini ur defo gettin ur post count up :lol: :lol: :lol: