Eelementary
Post Whore
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This joke relates back to when Billy was P.U.S.A.
Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every morning at 5 AM?
To ensure she is the First Lady ...
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A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are politics?"
His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am capatilism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the working class. Now think about that."
So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his daiper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny. The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the nanny. He went back to bed. The next morning, he went to his dad and said, "Dad i know what you mean now."
"You do? Tell me."
"OK, while capatilism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on!!!"
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What doi Geroge W. Bush's wife, Barbara, and the American flag have in common?
They both go down in the name of the President
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George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a restaurant one afternoon.
They browse through the menus, and when they are ready to order, Geroge spots this amazingly attractive waitress. He calls her on.
"Hey there lovely lady. I'd love to have a quickie, please," he says, grinning.
The waitress gasps and slaps him. "There are laws against that, sir. YOU of all people should know."
"Come on, I want my quickie dammit!" he insists. A fight ensues as the waitress struggles to escape Bush's abuse.
"Um, George ..."
"Not now Dcik. I want my quickie damn you!"
"Get out!" the waitress yells as she slaps him again.
Finally, Geroge gives up. "Sheesh. Is it so hard to get a damn quickie in this place? What was her problem Dick?"
"Um, George ... It's pronounced 'quiche'. "
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An Englishman, an Australian, a German and a Chinese man are in the war together.
Their general calls them on the radio and tells them to devise a strategy, as the enemy is in the country ahead.
So the Aussie says, "Right. You, ya Pommy bastard - you'll be in charge of the transport. Oi Adolf! You'll be in charge of ammunition. I'll be in command of the attack. Everyone clear then?"
"Yes," they all say in unison.
"Wait sil. What about me?" inquires the Chinaman.
"Right. Um ... You will be in charge of the supplies, right?"
"OK. No ploblem."
"Right," says the Aussie. "We'll all meet after the tunnel at 17:00 hours. Get a move on you sheilas!"
So they all set off.
At 17:00, the Englishman, German and Aussie all arrive in unison after the tunnel.
"I say, where's Lin?" asks the Pom.
"Dunno mate, Let's give 'im a half hour extra, fair dinkum."
They wait and wait and wait. It's now 20:00 hours, and no sign of Lin.
The Aussie commando radios him and says, "Right! Where are you, you dog-eatin' maggot?"
When suddenly, from the bushes next to them, a small Chinaman jumps out and yells, "SUPLISE!"
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The commander of the AL Qaeda forces was doing his routine training with 30 000 of his men in the desert.
Suddenly, they came to a large sand hill. Coming from up over the hill was a voice, echoing, "One Australian SAS soldier is better than 5000 Al Qaeda men."
Enraged, the Al Qaeda commander sent 5000 of his best men to see what was going on. There was a series of loud explosions, and they never came back.
Suddenly, the voice again: "One Australian SAS solier is better than 10 000 Al QAeda men."
The commander, furious, sent 10 000 of his best men to see what was happening. Again, loud explosions and they never returned.
"One Australian SAS soldier is better than 15 000 Al Qaeda men," the voice teased.
"Enough!" said the commander. He sent his last 15 000 men - which included his right hand man - to see the problem.
Another series of loud explosions, and a loud yell. Suddenly, the right hand man comes running back to the commander, bleeding, in terro and pain.
"What is it, friend?" asked the commander
"It's a trick!" replied the right hand man.
"How so?"
"THERE'S TWO OF THEM!"
Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill every morning at 5 AM?
To ensure she is the First Lady ...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are politics?"
His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am capatilism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the working class. Now think about that."
So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his daiper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny. The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the nanny. He went back to bed. The next morning, he went to his dad and said, "Dad i know what you mean now."
"You do? Tell me."
"OK, while capatilism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on!!!"
----------------------------------------------------------------
What doi Geroge W. Bush's wife, Barbara, and the American flag have in common?
They both go down in the name of the President
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a restaurant one afternoon.
They browse through the menus, and when they are ready to order, Geroge spots this amazingly attractive waitress. He calls her on.
"Hey there lovely lady. I'd love to have a quickie, please," he says, grinning.
The waitress gasps and slaps him. "There are laws against that, sir. YOU of all people should know."
"Come on, I want my quickie dammit!" he insists. A fight ensues as the waitress struggles to escape Bush's abuse.
"Um, George ..."
"Not now Dcik. I want my quickie damn you!"
"Get out!" the waitress yells as she slaps him again.
Finally, Geroge gives up. "Sheesh. Is it so hard to get a damn quickie in this place? What was her problem Dick?"
"Um, George ... It's pronounced 'quiche'. "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Englishman, an Australian, a German and a Chinese man are in the war together.
Their general calls them on the radio and tells them to devise a strategy, as the enemy is in the country ahead.
So the Aussie says, "Right. You, ya Pommy bastard - you'll be in charge of the transport. Oi Adolf! You'll be in charge of ammunition. I'll be in command of the attack. Everyone clear then?"
"Yes," they all say in unison.
"Wait sil. What about me?" inquires the Chinaman.
"Right. Um ... You will be in charge of the supplies, right?"
"OK. No ploblem."
"Right," says the Aussie. "We'll all meet after the tunnel at 17:00 hours. Get a move on you sheilas!"
So they all set off.
At 17:00, the Englishman, German and Aussie all arrive in unison after the tunnel.
"I say, where's Lin?" asks the Pom.
"Dunno mate, Let's give 'im a half hour extra, fair dinkum."
They wait and wait and wait. It's now 20:00 hours, and no sign of Lin.
The Aussie commando radios him and says, "Right! Where are you, you dog-eatin' maggot?"
When suddenly, from the bushes next to them, a small Chinaman jumps out and yells, "SUPLISE!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The commander of the AL Qaeda forces was doing his routine training with 30 000 of his men in the desert.
Suddenly, they came to a large sand hill. Coming from up over the hill was a voice, echoing, "One Australian SAS soldier is better than 5000 Al Qaeda men."
Enraged, the Al Qaeda commander sent 5000 of his best men to see what was going on. There was a series of loud explosions, and they never came back.
Suddenly, the voice again: "One Australian SAS solier is better than 10 000 Al QAeda men."
The commander, furious, sent 10 000 of his best men to see what was happening. Again, loud explosions and they never returned.
"One Australian SAS soldier is better than 15 000 Al Qaeda men," the voice teased.
"Enough!" said the commander. He sent his last 15 000 men - which included his right hand man - to see the problem.
Another series of loud explosions, and a loud yell. Suddenly, the right hand man comes running back to the commander, bleeding, in terro and pain.
"What is it, friend?" asked the commander
"It's a trick!" replied the right hand man.
"How so?"
"THERE'S TWO OF THEM!"
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
